A Resource For Churches Dealing With Abuse

hate talking about abuse. I hate writing about it. However, as long as it’s happening, we must continue to face up to it. The church that puts its head in the sand is doing irreparable damage to its members. This book is about the particular problem of domestic abuse. This is abuse happening in the home, often from a husband towards his wife.

The authors are experienced and well-qualified in the field of counselling for domestic abuse situations. Jeremy Pierre is a professor of counselling at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a pastor. Greg Wilson is a licensed professional counsellor in Texas. Both of them share a commitment to the authority of God’s Word and an emphasis on the gospel. Theologically, there’s nothing in this book of concern. Read More»

Wes Bredenhof | “Enough Abuse Already” | December 26, 2022


Heidelberg Reformation Association
1637 E. Valley Parkway #391
Escondido CA 92027
The HRA is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization

    Post authored by:

  • Heidelblog
    Author Image

    The Heidelblog has been in publication since 2007. It is devoted to recovering the Reformed confession and to helping others discover Reformed theology, piety, and practice.

    More by Heidelblog ›

Subscribe to the Heidelblog today!


  1. One of the biggest ways one can fix marital abuse in the church is to educate both parties and church leadership on the fact that patriarchy is NOT God’s plan/goal/design or anything for the family ! Patriarchy IS biblical in the same way slavery is biblical. both were part of the historical backdrop of the times and place the Bible stories took place. It is a result of the fall.

    There is way too much to go into here but seeing the results of patriarchy such as the abuse and now some christian groups endorsing spanking wives, even maintanence spanking to keep them in line when the bible mentions nothing of the sort.

    Patriarchy allows for one gender to be above in charge and in authority over the other and that authority makes rules as they see fit because they are in charge while the other one is to silently submit. That is how patriarchy has grown into the monster it is with hundreds of micro-managing rules for women to follow in order to that perfect wife/mother/homebody.
    Those verses on silence and submission have been taken out of context and misapplied.
    To disagree brings much anger and ire, name calling, accusations from those who stubbornly hold to patrirarchy as God’s will. That lack of Christian towards other christians alone should show how patriarchy turns one into a ruthless unfeeling creature whose only role is to “defend” God’s word.

    Writing this article about offering help for victims of abuse is a good start but the roots are deeply entwined in the workings of the church and will not be easy to pull out but it is way past time to get started.

    • Susan,

      1. The HB is committed to some sort of complementary relations between males and females generally (i.e., according to nature) and also according to grace in the visible, institutional church. That complementary relation entails an order, as the Apostle Paul says:

      For Adam was formed first, then Eve…” (ESV; Ἀδὰμ γὰρ πρῶτος ἐπλάσθη, εἶτα Εὕα; 1 Tim 2:13).

      This is God’s Word. We may not become skeptics and say, “Oh who really knows what Scripture means?” Yes, people abuse the text of Scripture to justify wickedness (e.g., abuse) and yes, I agree entirely that Patriarchalism leads to abuse but the answer is not the opposite error, egalitarianism. The theology and exegesis of the egalitarians is simply not very good and for that reason not compelling.

      So, I agree with you regarding Patriarchalism, which I’ve criticized very strongly. Indeed, because of my criticism, I’ve been falsely labeled an egalitarian (by Patriarchalists).

      Because God clearly instituted an order, to which Paul appeals in 1 Tim 2, we may not set up a system that disregards that order. The key here is “as they see fit.” This is not a godly way to proceed. There is, in the nature of the case (as Paul says in Eph 5) mutuality in the marriage relationship. The Patriarchalists ignore that just as the Egalitarians ignore order.

      To be faithful to Scripture, we must have both order and mutuality. We need not choose between them. Order without mutuality is tyranny and mutuality without order is chaos. Neither are taught by God’s Word.

  2. There are many instances of God using 2nd and last born to be the leaders of Israel….David, Isaac, Jacob, etc. So first born or first something is not a God ordained rule of order or a principle we must follow. Christians would latch on to that one and follow it to idiocy—as in
    “let’s only choose first born men to be pastors, or teachers or…..because God created principal of “first to be leaders” in the story of Adam and Eve.” Can you see how scripture can and have been so easily turned into nit-picky confusion because someone thinks they have a really truer deeper understanding of a single verse, adding to and making it say something it was never meant to say.

    You do bring up great points when you say you were accused being egalitarin by patriarchists because what you believe did not exactly agree with what they believe. Yet they are convinced they are following God’s word and what they do is biblical just like you say you are following the correct application of the word. So who is really right? Who is really following the true “order” of God, if there is an order?

    Actually being skeptical can be a good thing. That keeps us from following every “wind of doctrine”. Scripture says to study to show oneself approved.

Comments are closed.