The subject of family worship is simultaneously one of the most frequently espoused, consistently cataloged, and thoroughly proffered topics in the history of Reformed and Presbyterian teaching, and (at least in our day) one of the most neglected practices in many Christian homes.
Our church has recently been doing an extensive Sunday school series on marriage and family, covering all the requisite subjects that one would assume under that umbrella, and, in that vein, I have been thinking lately about the subject of family worship.
It strikes me that this is a topic in many Reformed circles and Reformed churches that is often and merely assumed: Of course, family worship is important; everyone knows that. Of course, everyone here has already heard about family worship for most of their lives, why even spend time talking about it?
I do not think this is the case. We cannot assume every family is doing regular family worship together or that every Christian has been taught about its importance or that every family even knows how to go about doing family worship—and there are likely a variety of reasons for this. But that is the point of this and subsequent articles in this brief series: to provide some warm encouragement and instruction and some simple, practical how-tos on this oft-neglected discipline and means of grace.
Another factor to bear in mind is that not everyone among the Heidelblog readership grew up in a Reformed and Presbyterian household. For that matter, not everyone in the readership grew up in a Christian household. If your church is anything like mine (and if the various demographic surveys floating around the Reformed world are to be believed), we have a number of people in our churches who became Christians later in life and did not grow up with a model of godly family piety. Additionally, our churches have a growing number of folks who did, in fact, grow up in Christian or church-going households but did not come into the Reformed world until college or later adult years, so the subject of family worship is new territory for them. They did not necessarily hear this emphasized in their earlier years, and some of them are facing marriage or raising children without a real model in mind, so the whole enterprise feels daunting.
Also, this article is not intended to be a scold. Plenty of us have found ourselves out of our depth or lax in this area. I hope these articles will show you that family worship is much simpler, more accessible, and more doable than perhaps you have been led to believe. To be clear, though we are using the term “family worship,” the principles and the practicalities here apply to all Christians. In other words, if you are a single person, these things include you. If you are a married couple without children, you still ought to worship the Lord together regularly. If you are a couple whose adult children have moved out of the house—same thing. It is right and good for all of us to be seeking the Lord devotionally and worshipfully throughout the rhythm of our weeks. So these matters are not just for parents with young children in the house, though much of the encouragement here will be directed to our young families. But if you are single or engaged or newlyweds or empty nesters, the principles of this series can still be applied to your situation for your personal devotions, or what the Puritans would call “private worship.”
Petrus van Mastricht, the Dutch Reformed theologian, called his famous volumes of systematic theology Theoretical-Practical Theology. And by that he meant doctrinal and practical—that is, theology is only rightly done if it is first understood (the theory or the teaching side) and then applied, put into action, the practical. So I have two broad headings for these articles: (1) the theoretical, the foundational, the “what it is and why it is important,” and then (2) the practical: how to implement it.
And in case there is any confusion, let it be understood that family worship is not worship of the family or worshiping one’s family. You may chuckle at that, but I had a conversation with someone once who was quite confused, if not a bit disturbed, at this idea when she first started visiting a Reformed church and heard about it.
“Isn’t that idolatry?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” I replied.
“Isn’t that an ancient pagan practice from the Far East, like ancestor worship or something?”
“Ah, no, no, no. Not at all. It’s not worship of the family. It’s worshiping God together as a family. Maybe you’ve heard the term ‘family devotions.’ It’s like that.”
“Ah,” she mused. Confusion cleared up.
Theoretical (Foundational)
We live in an age marked by busyness, distraction, and the erosion of spiritual disciplines, and so the practice of family worship—sometimes called family devotions—stands as a biblical, proven, and time-honored call to Christian households. To offer something of a brief definition rooted in Scripture and cherished throughout the history of the Reformed tradition, family worship is the intentional gathering of a household to honor God through prayer, Scripture reading, sung praise, and discussing the things of God. It is not merely a nostalgic tradition but an important means of grace, a discipline that shapes the spiritual lives of parents and children alike. It is a discipline not in the punitive sense but in the formative sense. All discipline is meant to be formative, and the discipline (or practice or habit) of family worship is meant to be formative to our minds, hearts, and souls—especially our children’s minds and souls.
Family worship serves not simply to impart data or information or facts about the Lord or the Christian faith (though it certainly does that) but is meant to cultivate a love of the Lord and of his ways and truths. It is meant to cultivate an affection for and treasuring of the things of God, to show our children that Christ is the head of this household, and though Mom and Dad and all of us have various responsibilities, it reinforces the reality that we do not stop being Christians when we walk out of the church doors on Sunday. We do not stop being Christians when Sunday is over; we are Christ’s people every day. We ought to seek him, love him, and worship him constantly, even as he is our God and we are his people constantly.
Family worship is meant to be formative to that end, to train our children’s hearts and minds and our hearts and minds that the Lord Jesus is at the center of our lives and households. Christ is not just some peripheral add-on, some optional extra that we tag on Sundays. Family worship is one more way to reinforce the notion that our lives and the lives of our family are built, structured, and centered not on ourselves but on Christ (Ps 100:3). We are not our own, but we have been bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19–20), and the life and rhythm of our family should reflect that.
The chief end of man, his highest purpose, is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever (Westminster Shorter Catechism [WSC] 1). Family worship is one more way we can reinforce this to our families and our children. We were created not to live for ourselves but to live for God, our maker; we were saved to live for Christ, to glorify and enjoy him. Family worship helps us to glorify and enjoy him and to calibrate the life of our family around King Jesus.
Again, the goal here is not to burden families with another chore but to present family worship as a grace-filled opportunity to center the home on Christ.
The Theological Foundation of Family Worship
From a Reformed perspective, family worship flows naturally from the covenant theology that undergirds our understanding of God’s relationship with His people. The Westminster Confession of Faith (WCF) emphasizes that God deals with His people not merely as individuals but as households (21.6), with the Lord in Scripture promising to be “God to you and to your offspring after you” (Gen 17:7). This covenantal framework is evident in passages like Deuteronomy 6:6–7, where God commands His people: “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
The idea from Deuteronomy 6 is that teaching your children the things of God, the truths of the Scripture, the things of the faith should be a natural, ongoing, recurring thing that takes place frequently in the ordinary course of life. And one of the ways to do this that has been emphasized by Christians of all traditions, but particularly in the Reformed tradition, is the practice of family worship.
The New Testament reinforces this principle. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers to “bring [their children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” a charge that presupposes intentional spiritual leadership in the home. While Scripture does not provide a detailed blueprint or an exact template for family worship, it assumes that households will be places of prayer, teaching, and praise. Historical Reformed figures, such as John Calvin and the Puritans, saw family worship as an extension of corporate worship, a “little church” where parents serve as shepherds to their flock.
The Presbyterian Church in America’s Book of Church Order 63-3 and 63-4 say, “Family worship, which should be observed by every family, consists in prayer, reading the Scriptures, and singing praises; or in some briefer form of outspoken recognition of God. . . . Parents should instruct their children in the Word of God, and in the principles of our holy religion. The reading of devotional literature should be encouraged and every proper opportunity should be embraced for religious instruction.”
WCF 21.6 says, in part, “God is to be worshiped everywhere, in spirit and truth; as, in private families daily, and in secret, each one by himself; so, more solemnly in the public assemblies, which are not carelessly or willfully to be neglected, or forsaken, when God, by his Word or providence, calleth thereunto.”
Theologically, family worship dovetails with the Reformed emphasis on the means of grace—those ordinary channels (Word, prayer, and sacraments) through which God imparts His blessings. Private worship, family worship, and corporate worship are matters of scale or scope. That is, they are not identical. There are certain things that are proper in corporate worship that are not proper for family worship. For example, we would have baptism and the Lord’s Supper in corporate worship. It would not be appropriate to do those things in family worship. But other things like prayer, Bible reading, singing together—absolutely! And it is one of those wonderful, pedagogical things that is so formative to our children: “See, what we do at home in our family devotions, that’s what we do in worship on Sunday with the rest of the church family in corporate worship on the Lord’s Day” (or what our little preschool class would call “big church”). It is so helpful for children to have that repetition and overflow, that what we do Monday through Friday at home is a lot like what we do in Lord’s Day worship with our church: prayer and praises, singing, reading the Bible together, and so forth.
Jason Helopoulos wrote the book A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home a few years ago, and it is a short, practical little book on the subject of family worship.1 For the last several years, a number of Reformed pastors and authors have been striving to do their part to encourage this practice that has fallen into disuse in many corners of the church (and we will include a list of recommended resources in the final article of this series). As Helopoulos’s title suggests, though it is often neglected in our day, family worship is a means of grace that directs children to seek Christ daily and strengthens the faith of the entire household. It is not a guarantee of salvation—Reformed theology rejects such mechanistic views—but a faithful sowing of seeds that God may use according to His sovereign will.
In our next article, borrowing from some of Helopoulos’s insights, we will outline what family worship is not. Then, in our final article, having established the need and basis for family worship in this first article, we will offer some practical tips and encouragement for implementing the habit and direct readers to a number of useful resources on the matter.
Note
- Jason Helopoulos, A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home (Christian Focus, 2014).
©Sean Morris. All Rights Reserved.
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Sean Morris
Sean was educated at Grove City College, Reformed Theological Seminary (Jackson, MS), Edinburgh Theological Seminary, and the University of Glasgow (Scotland). He earned his PhD from Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He is an ordained teaching elder in the Presbyterian Church in America, and serves as a minister at the Covenant Presbyterian Church in Oak Ridge, TN. He also serves as the Academic Dean of the Blue Ridge Institute for Theological Education and has published numerous theological and devotional articles. Sean lives in Oak Ridge with his wife, Sarah, and their children.
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