I was surprised when a mother began to cry as we discussed our truthXchange booklet, Letter to a Friend: Transgenderism and Kids. To my relief, her tears were not because the text had offended her. Rather, she was overwhelmed with thanks to read a Christian resource that encourages parents to refrain from using the false names and pronouns of their gender-confused children. Many well-meaning friends had encouraged her to use “pronoun hospitality” when speaking to or about her child. Others had given her resources like Preston Sprinkle’s book, Embodied, which explicitly encourages such practice. “I felt like I was being told to go against my own conscience,” she said through her tears. Even though “I had a knot in my stomach all the time, I had to ignore how wrong it felt because if I didn’t, [my child]* would be in danger. I kept thinking, ‘How can lying really help [my child]?’ It only gave [my child] a false sense that I was going along with confusion somehow—that the life [my child] was choosing was good. And it’s not. It’s not good.”
Increasingly, Christians are facing this predicament. Our children, neighbors, extended family, and community members imbibe the lie that males and females can somehow change the sex with which God created them. Christians are also misled by ministries such as the Center for Faith, Gender and Sexuality (among others). Such influences are leading them to believe that they should change their language to reflect the internal desires of their confused loved ones. Those who encourage such practice reason that “pronoun hospitality” is a small accommodation, which will create comfort for the confused individual and will thus maintain a relationship with Christians and the church. We’re told that we’re to be kind, and that speaking to or about the person according to their sexed reality is unkind; this small accommodation may be a lifesaving measure to someone who might otherwise decide on self harm or suicide. Believing that it’s the only truly loving thing they can do, many Christians go along with the social transition of the people in their lives, even if they have a sense of guilt for lying.
Mary Weller | “No Love Without Truth” | May 3, 2024
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