When a friend or loved one is suffering, it can be challenging to say the right words. We want to have words that help rather than hurt. The example of Job’s three friends in Scripture shows us how easy it is to do the latter and how hard the former. Thankfully, Scripture also teaches how we can be truly wise and helpful friends to those who are hurting.

First, a wise and helpful friend listens to those who are suffering. Take your time and let them share their pain. Let them voice their questions. Think of your Saviour and how he is revealed in the Bible. As a compassionate and sympathetic High Priest (Heb. 4:14-16), he really listens to believers who are suffering. He genuinely listens to the prayers of Christians with interest and sincerity. If we’re united to Christ, that’s how we should aspire to be, pray to be, and strive to be.

A wise and helpful friend also doesn’t make assumptions and jump to conclusions about the one who is suffering and why they might be suffering. Instead, we keep an open mind until we’ve heard everything. Moreover, we use what’s called the judgment of charity. If we love someone, we’re charitable and don’t right away think the worst of them. As the Holy Spirit says in 1 Cor. 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” As our Lord Jesus taught us in Matt. 7:12, we do unto others as we would want done unto us. We’d want people to approach us charitably, so let’s do the same with others. Read more»

Wes Bredenhof | “How to Speak Comfort to a Suffering Friend” | July 6, 2026

RESOURCES

• Subscribe to The Heidelblog!
• Download the HeidelApp on Apple App Store or Google Play
• Browse the Heidelshop!
• The Heidelblog Resource Page
• Heidelmedia Resources
• The Ecumenical Creeds
• The Reformed Confessions
• The Heidelberg Catechism
• The Heidelberg Catechism: A Historical, Theological, & Pastoral Commentary (Lexham Press, 2025)
• Recovering the Reformed Confession (Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2008)
• Why I Am A Christian
• What Must A Christian Believe?
• Heidelblog Contributors
• Support Heidelmedia: use the donate button or send a check to

Heidelberg Reformation Association
1637 E. Valley Parkway #391
Escondido CA 92027
USA
The HRA is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization

Post authored by:

• Heidelblog

  

  The Heidelblog has been in publication since 2007. It is devoted to recovering the Reformed confession and to helping others discover Reformed theology, piety, and practice.

  More by Heidelblog ›