The OPC raised me well. Even in my earliest memories, my church felt like home. But when I returned as a young adult from serving two years on a mission field, I began to feel deeply the tension of being single and childless in a church community that centers much of its energy on families. Although I felt no less loved by my church or the churches in my presbytery, I sensed the strain of not quite having a place in the family and the unintended pressures of well-intentioned church members who so dearly hoped—like I myself did—that I would find a spouse. In 2020, as so many of us sequestered in isolation, the unique need of Christian singles to be wrapped up in the fellowship of the family of Christ became more apparent. So, I began a series of interviews with Christian singles of various ages and backgrounds—some of which have been included here—to try to better understand how the church can care for these particular members of its body.
No two people are exactly the same, nor are any two churches. Some congregations may have already invested well in their singles; others may wish to do better. This article aims to be a starting point from which further conversations can be had between the saints of all ages and life stages about what it looks like to bring singles into church fellowship.
The Need to Belong to the Family of Christ
Humans need other humans for companionship, care, and accountability. Singles are no exception. Brenda Landmon, who grew up in an OPC in Long Beach, California, did not get married until she was thirty-four. She observed that churches can miss the pressing need of providing singles with genuine fellowship if they focus heavily on “opportunities to meet other Christians so [singles] can be married.” There’s value to those singles events, Landmon explained, but “I was always afraid to go because I was like, ‘Can I just go to meet other people?’”
Mary Van Weelden | “Bringing Singles into Church Fellowship” | New Horizons, March 2025
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Mary Van Weelden
Mary Van Weelden is a journalist, writer, and junior high teacher. She is the copy editor for he HRA and she is working on a dual MA in biblical and theological studies at Westminster Seminary California. Mary and her husband live in Escondido, California, and attend Christ Presbyterian Church. You can find her on Twitter.
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