Single people in the church are often the recipients of unsolicited “words of encouragement”—words which, if not rooted in the truths of Scripture, can inflict pain and cultivate despair. These well-intended platitudes miss the mark of edifying talk. For those who haven’t experienced a long season of singleness, it can be hard to know what to say to those who have.
Let’s take a look at three clichés that misunderstand the loneliness and lack of purpose singles often feel, and replace them with true promises of Scripture.
Telling a fellow believer his or her season of singleness will end upon a proper exercise of contentment mistakenly presupposes three things. First, it assumes this single person isn’t already content in the Lord’s will for her life. Second, it suggests married people arecontent or they reached some pinnacle of contentment before finding their spouses. And third, it foolishly implies we can identify a formula for God’s providence—our God, whose goodness is sure but whose plans are a mystery.
We shouldn’t tell a grieving couple that their infertility would be resolved if they were more content in childlessness. Nor should we tell someone struggling financially that he’d get his dream job if he accepted where God has him now. Likewise, we shouldn’t make such careless promises to single people. Read More»
Mary Van Weelden | “What (Not) To Say To Singles” | February 14, 2023
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