A pastor is a human being who has been redeemed by God’s grace and called to serve the Lord as an ordained minister. As a human, he will need and want friends. It is a highly unrealistic expectation to think that pastors are above needing friends. To try to fulfill the expectations that a pastor is a super-hero or immune from normal human dynamics is a formula to end pastoral ministry.

We all need friends who will laugh with (sometimes, at) us; we need friends with common life situations; and we need friends to lean on and to support when they lean. A pastor will not last long without reasonable camaraderie. So, we should accept the kindness of friendship and also look for friends. And your friends may not be in your same demographic, who you’d choose, or even who you’d expect. A Theological Application is: Not only is God sovereign in salvation but he is also sovereign in providing friends and fellowship. Often, it is most surprising to find the friends we end with.

Still, the pastoral life can be lonely at times—any leadership and public service can be. Such may be part of the costs of discipleship that should be counted. Pastors should love all in their flock, but we will only be close friends with a few. It helps to recall that while we are called to serve all, we will not have the same level of trust or fellowship with all. That is a one-size-fits-all formula that won’t survive. Read more»

David Hall | “Friendship and Pastors” | August 7, 2025

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Post authored by:

• David Hall

  

  Reverend David W. Hall is married to Ann, and they are parents of three grown children and grandparents of eight grandchildren. He has served as the Senior Pastor of Midway Presbyterian Church (PCA) since 2003. Previously, he served as Pastor of the Covenant Presbyterian Church in Oak Ridge, Tennessee (1984–2003) and as Associate Pastor at the First Presbyterian Church in Rome, Georgia (1980–1984). He was ordained to pastoral ministry in 1980. He was educated at Covenant Theological Seminary and is the editor and author of several volumes.

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